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+---- Thread: Step Nine Introduction (/showthread.php?tid=29)
Step Nine Introduction - soloadmin - 04-14-2025
Revised Step 9
"We took appropriate actions to make amends, focusing on our commitment to lasting recovery and demonstrating remorse for all offenses and betrayals, unless such amends would only cause further harm."
? Meaning and Breakdown
The original Step 9 says:
"Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."
This revised version adds intentionality, emotional intelligence, and care.
✅ "We took appropriate actions to make amends..."
- This is about putting recovery into action.
- "Appropriate" means respectful, timely, and considerate — not rushed or forced.
How to do it: Consider what each person needs — not what you want to say. Let the action fit the situation.
✅ "...focusing on our commitment to lasting recovery..."
- The motive behind your amends matters.
- This is about showing that you're becoming someone different — not just saying “sorry.”
How to do it: Keep showing up in recovery. Let your life become the proof of your sincerity.
✅ "...and demonstrating remorse for all offenses and betrayals..."
- This acknowledges emotional and trust-related harm.
- Remorse isn’t self-pity — it’s heartfelt awareness of the pain you’ve caused.
How to do it: Speak simply. Acknowledge hurt. Take responsibility. Let your tone reflect your growth.
✅ "...unless such amends would only cause further harm."
- Not all apologies are helpful — some can retraumatize or disrupt healing.
- This is where ethics and empathy guide your decisions.
How to do it: If unsure, get guidance. You can still make “living amends” through changed behavior and service.
? How to Practice This Step
- Revisit Your List: Go back to Step 8’s list and evaluate each case individually.
- Make a Plan: Decide what kind of amends are most appropriate for each person.
- Be Clear and Sincere: Take responsibility. Avoid blame or over-explaining.
- Respect Others' Healing: Sometimes the best thing you can do is stay away.
- Let Your Life Be the Apology: Stay consistent in recovery. Actions > words.
⚠️ Key Insights
- This Step is Brave: You’re not hiding anymore — you’re stepping into truth.
- Remorse is Healing: It opens space for reconnection and self-forgiveness.
- Amends Must Be Thoughtful: It’s not about clearing your conscience — it’s about supporting others’ healing.
❤️ Final Thought
This is where recovery becomes relational. Where transformation is witnessed. Where healing can begin again — not just for you, but for everyone your journey touches. And that is powerful beyond words.